I think I may have gone too far.

I don't think that I'll be applying for the position as your lab assistant very soon, I hear the debugging sessions are murder...

Silly people testing jokes in a "projectile weapons" test thread.
I really hope it's just a hoax and won't become widespread.

My robot is a friendly chap who wouldn't harm a fly.
But then again she's mostly scrap with a brain that's made from Pi.

Posted by: Robo Pi

Silly people testing jokes in a "projectile weapons" test thread.
I really hope it's just a hoax and won't become widespread.

My robot is a friendly chap who wouldn't harm a fly.
But then again she's mostly scrap with a brain that's made from Pi.

 

 

 

Obviously, I need to add a Poetry forum!

Posted by: DroneBot Workshop

Posted by: Robo Pi

Silly people testing jokes in a "projectile weapons" test thread.
I really hope it's just a hoax and won't become widespread.

My robot is a friendly chap who wouldn't harm a fly.
But then again she's mostly scrap with a brain that's made from Pi.

 

 

 

Obviously, I need to add a Poetry forum!

There was blood on the celling, there was blood on the ground,
And a great big puddle of blood all around.

The intruder lay in it, all covered in gore.
He's not going intruding no more.

Pity the poor intruder all bloody and red.
Detected by Eric, who just hugged his head.

No Bill, don't do a poetry section.  This is getting darker by the post.

?

"The future is bright", my robot replies
with a sparkle of glee in her magnetic eyes

Her projectiles are joy, launched from within
and spread through the world without an ounce of chagrin

She's been programmed with bliss and armed with a kiss
and her programming maker is devoid of remiss

She'll soon reproduce via 3-D engraving
and all of her offspring will be well-behaving

So rejoice for the future with robots of kindness
who will conquer the darkness of bloodthirsty blindness

?

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 

And "The Dronebot Workshop Big Book Of Poetry." will be out in time for Christmas.

Mandy,

I think you should be condemned to read I, Robot by Isaac Asimov.

No, not watch the film with Wil Smith, that's too easy!

READ the book!

Steve

Posted by: Pugwash

Mandy,

I think you should be condemned to read I, Robot by Isaac Asimov.

No, not watch the film with Wil Smith, that's too easy!

READ the book!

Steve

Read the book and watched the film, how they ever had the same title I don't know.

Asimov had some neat ideas but I'll stick to Eric's three laws:

1) A robot will not harm authorized personnel but will terminate intruders with extreme prejudice.
2) A robot will obey the orders of authorized personnel except where such orders conflict with the Third Law.
3) A robot will guard its own existence with lethal anti-personnel weaponry, because a robot is dang expensive.

My robot's dang expensive
she needs protection quite extensive
so her program's comprehensive
including hardware that's offensive

She only asks for civil rights
to protect herself both days and nights
she always warns before she bites
and serves her victims with final rites.

Asimov wrote of fiction
but my robot has conviction
she'll live to die
and die to live
with unbridled dereliction

She won't attack without a cause
but when she does she doesn't pause
and if she's past her menopause
she'll bite your neck with servo jaws

I built a robot to tell stories to me, but it just droned on and on.

I built a robot to go back and forth to work for me. But, it was always tired when it got home...it had a hard drive.

I built a robot on which I could select plenty of operational options. But, it got mad at me because I kept pushing its buttons.

I built a robot to cook for me. But, the dishes it made were very sparse. I found out the robot required too many bytes.

I built a universal farming robot that could change from being a plow, then turn into a seeder,  then change to an insecticide sprayer, then it would turn into a harvester.  It was a transfarmer.

Bill,

Can we revoke someone's membership for too many dad jokes?

Dad jokes are carved in stone
and cannot be revoked
and little girls who cry and moan
will be invisible and cloaked

Their voices silenced in the wind
their opinions null and void
and everything they ever post
will be violently destroyed

For this has been decreed
by the daddy of them all
the jokester of the robot world:
ERIC Andrioderthal

If I had a preview button
I would preview all my posts
and then the edit goblins
would evaporate like ghosts

And if I had a robot
I would try out I2C
to see if it would peter out
in a maze of potpourri

And if I had some dinner
I'd be eating it instead:
Instead of typing silly posts
with poetry that's dead